The Netherlands is Such a Hypocrite
by JohnathanC.SparkleBerry
Summary: Once upon a time, The Netherlands was being a hypocrite, and hating on Spain for liking the younger people. When a bunch of ghosts come to talk some sense into him, what will happen. CRACK WARNING


**Disclaimer, this is a fan fiction site, that means that it is NOT MINE. If I owned Hetalia, it would likely be banned by EVERY NATION EVUR... Except France.**

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><p>"Oh Romano~ Si, you are such a naughty boy, getting into the cookie jar like that" Spain was looking at a photo album, full of shota Romano pictures.<p>

"Pedophile" The Netherlands, being the cool dood he was, slid into the room, and beat Spain with a seme paddle.

"Ow! Nehterlands! It's so nice to see you! How's Belg-" Spain get hit over the head again

"Stop hanging out with my Sister, and stop being such a pedophile!" With that, Netherlands left.

THAT NIGHT.

"Holly~ hoooollly~ HOLLY!" A voice sounded

"Who are you and where is my rabbit!" Netherlands sat up from his bed, looking for his guard rabbit.

"Holly! What's up man?" The voice says, plopping down on the bed next to Holly.

"... America, what the hell?" Netherlands glares at the blond

"Huh, oh, I'm not America, I'm Alfred, a ghost of whatever! And you've been a huge hypocrite, so you're gonna be visited by three ghosts!" Alfred says

"Not including yourself?" Netherlands asks.

"yep! So yeah... I'm gonna leave now!... Where's the nearest Micky D's?" Alfred asks

"About a mile away..." Netherlands says

"Okay, Thanks Holly!" With that, Alfred runs into a wall, even though he should be able to phase through it.

AN HOUR LATER

"Smoking's fun..." The Netherlands says

"HI THERE! I'M THE GHOST OF LOLICON'S PAST!" An Italian glomps him

"Italy?" Netherlands looks at the Italian

"Nope! My name's Feliciano Vargas! I'm here to show you your past!"

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN

"Ve~ You were a cute little kid!" Feliciano says, looking at a little kid with spiky hair, who was taking care of a little blond girl with a ribbon.

"My little sister used to be adorable" The Netherlands says

"... now let's take you to somewhere else in your past" Feliciano says

SOMEWHERE ELSE IN ORANDO'S PAST

"Ve, you see those little girls?" Feliciano asks

"Leave me here. Please. I'm happy" Netherlands says trying to walk over to the little girls.

"Ve, you're such a hypocrite." Feliciano says, before they magically get back to Netherlands's place.

"WHY DID YOU BRING ME BACK HERE! THERE WERE LITTLE GIRLS!" Netherlands flailed.

"Bye!" Feliciano leaves

I-I-I LOVE LITTLE GIRLS, THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD, I LOVE-

"Bojour, I am the ghost of Lolicon's present" A French man toting a Spanish piece of ass with him

"France, Spain?" Netherlands glares at the two men

"Non, It is Francis and Antonio, I'm here to show you how you're hypocrisy affects today" The blond rapist who isn't France says

IN BARCELONA

"Belgium, why does Land-Chan hate me?" Spain asks poking the blond woman, groping an Italian.

"Well, INSERT RESEARCH THE AUTHOR WAS TO LAZY TO DO... and you touch little boys" Belgium says

"But he likes little girls.. and Japan in a dress" Spain says

"Well, Brother's a hypocrite." Belgium says

"Get your hand off my ass you tomato bastard!" Romano yells.

IN SOME PLACE IN THE NETHERLANDS

"I'm not a hypocrite!"

"Si, you are" Antonio says

"No, I'm not" The Netherlands says

"Oui, you are" Francis says

No! No I'm not! Now get out of my house!" The Netherlands shoves the ghosts out his window.

"Woah, you don't like others being right, do you?" A female voice asks.

"Who are you! Where's my rabbit!" The Netherlands looks at the woman. She had a cloak on.

"I am the Ghost of Lolicon's Future" She says

"...Your breasts are to small to be Ukraine, and to big to be Lichtenstein... I like Lichtenstein" The Netherlands says

"Of course you do" She says

"But I like Japan even more... and even more so if he's in a female high school uniform" The Netherlands says

"Call me Elizibeta" She says

"Can I call you Liz?" Netherlands asks

"No" She hits Neddy with a frying pan

"Hungary, you're the Hungary look alike." The Netherlands says, holding his head

IN THE FUTURE!

"Where's my house?" The Netherlands asks

"It blew up from your Hypocrisy. So let Spain touch little boys, and you wont explode... also, there were no little girls at your funeral... so yeah... stop being a hypocrite" Elizibeta says

IN COSTA DEL SOL

"Sigh, I'm sad" Spain says

"SPAIN" The Netherlands bursts through the door, tulips in hand

"Land-Chan!" Spain rips off his pants, reveling DAT ASS, and runs to The Netherlands. The Netherlands punches him in his face.

"I hate you! But touch little boys as much as you want, because we both have one thing in common! We know the younger people are sexier than the older people! So you go touch Romano! You touch him like you've never touched him before!" The Netherlands says.

"Really! Thanks Netherlands! I'll send you a random child from my secret stash of children as a thanks!" Spain says hugging Netherlands.

"Make sure it's female" Netherlands says

"Will do!" Spain gives Netherlands a kiss on the cheek and runs off to molest Romano.

Netherlands stood there, trying to figure out just WHAT he was feeling right then. It wasn't hate, for once in his life.

...

But it's not like he'd ever admit it.

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><p><strong>So yeah... YOU DON'T GET CRACKIER THAN THIS... unless you go onto my dA, because I have even crackier things there. yeah...<strong>

**REVIEW PLEASE! EVERY TIME YOU DO, NETHERLANDS IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO FIGURING OUT HIS FEELINGS FOR SPAIN.**


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